I admit it, I love having a plan. I get genuine enjoyment in planning the details, I love making lists (and ticking things off!), and I honestly think it gives me that feeling of having some kind of control in this uncertain world. Whatever works, right?!
Maybe you also love planning, or maybe you are more of a “go with the flow” type person. Or maybe you flit somewhere between the two.
Regardless, I’m sure you have that shared feeling of frustration and disappointment when something doesn’t pan out the way you thought it would.
Whether it’s a fitness goal that went off the rails, or you didn’t save as much money as you were trying to, or a trip suddenly had to be cancelled – it’s always disappointing when something goes wrong just when you thought everything was going well.
I can think of plenty of times where, despite well-intentioned planning, things haven’t gone the way I intended:
- I’ve carefully planned meals for the week, and then left key ingredients off the shopping list. So have either had to make a frantic extra dash to the shops, or scramble to make something else instead.
- I’ve joined a gym, having grand plans of how often I would go, and then realised it wasn’t the right fit in terms of my work hours, commute, etc.
- Once, the week before a very big holiday, my husband’s work contract unexpectedly didn’t get renewed, which threw a spanner in the works for us, financially. On top of that, I ended up needing a hospital visit on that trip, so to say that holiday didn’t go the way it was intended would be an understatement!
It’s easy to become disheartened or overwhelmed in these situations, so to help you get past that, here are three reasons why the best laid plans fail – and how to overcome that:
1. Unexpected events
This is an obvious one, but can be easy to forget. And that is the fact that life happens. People get sick or injured, lose jobs, have other commitments come up, go through relationship break ups, grief, stress, and financial pressures.
These things usually can’t be planned for so, unfortunately, they just need to be ridden out. If something big does occur that really throws you for a loop, it can help with your perspective by keeping in mind how what happened fits into the bigger picture.
- If a meal plan goes off the rails and there’s a few extra days of takeaway or toasted sandwiches for dinner, it’s not the end of the world. This won’t derail everything, and you can get back to your usual meals from your next shopping trip.
- If you fall ill or have received some terrible personal news and don’t feel like exercising, that is perfectly fine. Give yourself the self-care and recovery time you need first, and then start to ease back into things. Go for a walk outside in the fresh air to stretch your legs and clear your head, and you can set your own pace in terms of getting back into some regular exercise.
- If you were well on your way to saving up for something significant, like say a holiday, and then the engine goes on your car and you’re facing significant costs – that’s really disappointing! It’s totally fine to feel that way, and it may in fact have an impact on your trip. But if you rely on your car to get around, then that cost will have to be faced, and the holiday costs may need to be re-looked at. Have confidence that you can get back on track.
2. Unrealistic targets or measures
I will put my hand up and admit to being very guilty of this one! I get excited and overly ambitious and can end up planning 20 hours’ worth of activities to fit into one day – and then I wonder why I can’t hit my goals (or why I’m exhausted!)
When I take the time to ensure that what I have planned is achievable, it makes a huge difference. Some of the ways I do this include:
- Building in more time than what I think is needed, just in case it takes longer, or there is an interruption.
- Allowing for the “extra” time that often gets overlooked, such as commute times, the time it takes to prep, cook and eat a meal, and times to take a break. This doesn’t mean scheduling in every tiny aspect of your life, it just means being a little bit more aware of how your time works across the day.
- Trying to make a really huge jump in behaviour straight away. Let’s say you want to get your house cleaned up and do some decluttering. If you decide that in the first week you’re going to clean every room and sort out every cupboard, but you work full time and already have commitments booked on the weekend, well, I think it’s fair to say that fitting in a giant task of cleaning would be close to impossible. But if you decided that for the rest of the week you’re going to spend 20 minutes each day on cleaning (and perhaps focus on one specific room or cupboard at a time), that suddenly seems much more achievable. The progress may not be as drastic as you had hoped – but it may actually happen!
3. Lack of goal clarity
And it’s hard to stay motivated and focussed on something that is a bit fuzzy. If you think your finances could be managed a bit better and could be tightened a bit, you may have decided to either “Not spend as much this week” or “Stick to my budget more”. While the intention is good, it’s hard to see how you would do that.
However, if you focus in on that more to be something like “I’m going to take my lunch to work everyday this week, instead of buying lunch” or “I might have a coffee catch up with my friend instead of a dinner”, those are small specific goals that will make a difference that you will be able see and measure, in the context of your larger aim of managing spending.
Bonus number 4: Not being kind to yourself.
Above all, no matter how big or small your dreams are, or how far away you may be from reaching them, be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for not sticking to your plans or having to change direction or even start again from the beginning.
Just remember that a setback is just a pause in the journey – it’s not the end of the line. So keep going, and keep those big goals and dreams in sight!